


Office Love Expert

by TheInevitableSense



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Gen, M/M, Too Many Damn Ships, Which How Did I Do That, all fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 06:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10634172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheInevitableSense/pseuds/TheInevitableSense
Summary: James Madison just wants to live his damn life





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LimpBlotter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LimpBlotter/gifts).



> For Cucusa
> 
> You just asked for a Madison central-fic, and here you go.

James Madison just wants to live his damn life.

But no, he chose the _one_ law firm to work in that must be the setting for a romantic comedy film. There’s no way this place actually exists, some writer must have dreamt it up and James just somehow fell into it. There’s so much pining packed into one building, James is surprised he doesn’t find literal pine needles on the floors.

It does not help that James, the office asexual, seems to be the one everyone decided was the relationship guru.

Which doesn’t even make sense in his mind. James wants nothing to do with ‘love,’ at least not as these people around him see it. He’s happy with his three cats and his friendships, thank you very much. Why spend time running around and jumping between people’s sheets when you can spend every evening with a cup of tea and Netflix.

But, for whatever reason, all of his coworkers picked him to be the bearer of secrets and the giver of advice. Nevermind that James has no idea what to say half the time, but he’s getting better at it. Good enough, apparently, to have Thomas Jefferson waiting in his office before he even gets there.

“He’s so damn infuriating, James!” Thomas exclaims, spinning in James' office chair.

“Good morning to you too,” James replies.

“He won’t email me back, won’t text me, won’t even open his office door!”

“Is he even in today?” James asks, putting his bag down on his desk. Thomas rolls his eyes.

“Of course he is Jemmy. He’s _Hamilton_ , he’s always in.”

“Is there a reason you think he’s not talking to you?” James asks, already regretting his query.

“...I mean…” Thomas swallows, looking down and away. “I might… I might have tried to pick him up at work drinks last night.”

“Oh really, you did now?” James asks, blandly. “I didn’t notice.” Thomas frowns.

“I don’t need your attitude, Jemmy,” Thomas says. “I embarrassed myself and now he knows and he won’t talk to me-”

“Madison, I need-” Hamilton interrupts, throwing open James’ door. He’s got that look on his face which tells James he was coming in not to talk about work, but he quickly rearranges it into one of disgust. Before anyone can speak again, Hamilton slams the door and leaves.

“See!” Thomas throws his hands in the air. “I messed up and you were wrong. He doesn’t like me.”

James can already feel the migraine brewing.

\---------------

“He doesn’t even look at me!” Lafayette complains, draped across James’ chair. James wonders if he’s ever actually going to get to come into his office to silence. He had just gone to copy some things.

“Yes he does,” James sighs.

“No, he doesn’t.”

“He looks at you quite a bit, Lafayette.” James drops his copied case reports on his desk and gives the Frenchman a look that he hopes says ‘get out of my damn chair.’ If Lafayette notices, he doesn’t move.

“I wore my best skirt today and he won’t even glance my way,” he wines. “My ass looks really good.”

“Okay, good to know,” James drawls. “Look, have you gotten his attention directly?”

“ _Non,_ he’s been busy.”                                         

James wants to throttle the other man. “How is he supposed to look at you if you don’t even talk to him?”

Lafayette slumps in the chair. “He’s supposed to see me from across-”

“Across the room, be enchanted and fall in love,” James intones with the other man. Lafayette’s face screws up.

“I do not need you to mock me, Madison.”

“I’m not,” James protests. “I’m just stating your plan, _which hasn’t worked for two years mind you_.”

“It’s a good plan.”

“Not really,” James breathes. Lafayette huffs and stands. “Just go talk to him.”

“If he is free,” Lafayette amends. James just rolls his eyes.

\--------------

“Is Jefferson here?” Hamilton sticks his head through the door. James looks up from his lunch and waves Hamilton in with a reluctant wave of his hand. “Good, good. I need to talk to you-”

“Last night?” James asks. Hamilton flushes, darts inside James’ office and shuts the door behind him.

“He was flirting with me, wasn’t he?” Hamilton asks, voice quiet. James feels like he could jump for joy. _Someone here isn’t completely oblivious, then-_ “I mean he was drunk off his ass and probably playing a bet, but he was _flirting_.”

“One, he wasn’t drunk. Buzzed, maybe, but not drunk.” James puts his food down on the table before he smashes it in his hands. “Two, if there was a bet, I’m not aware of it. Three, _yes he was flirting with you_.”

Hamilton grits his jaw, nods stiffly, then opens his mouth. “I bet John’s the one who gave him the bet.”

James wants to throw his sandwich at the man.

\-------------

“Oh thank god,” he breathes, coming back in from tossing his lunch. “Aaron Burr, what can I do for you?” He smiles at the other man standing in his office. Aaron stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, like he’s unsure of what to do with his body. James sits down in his chair, grateful that he can finally get some work done. Aaron has never come to James for romantic help, and James is grateful for the break from bullshi-

“I need advice.”

James feels his smile falter. _Probably just a case._ “Alright, what about?”

“I think I’m in love. I was told you’re the person to see?”

James wants to _scream_. Not Aaron too. James just curls his hands into fists. “That seems to be the unfortunate case,” he mutters, consigning himself to his new reality. “Who is it and why do you think they don’t like you back.” James is careful never to use the word ‘love.’ There’s too much weight to it that other people have that he doesn’t.

Aaron’s jaw works for a moment, one hand picking at his sleeve. “I don’t think he likes guys.”

James feels his stomach fall. “That’s your first hurdle,” he says, already seeing the next few months of unrequited complaining play out in his head. At least, he _hopes_ it will only last months. Lafayette’s been holding on for years.

Aaron nods solemnly. “How do I find out?” He asks. James sighs. This is always the first problem everyone has.

“Alright, here’s my advice…”

\---------------

“ _He doesn’t even work here!_ ” James hisses. “ _What other reason would he have to show up all the time?_ ”

John Laurens twiddles his thumbs. “I dunno. Maybe he likes the water cooler here more than his studio? Herc’s a very particular man.”

\---------------

James comes back from a meeting with Thomas and Hamilton, trying to forget all the damn pathetic faces the pull when they think no one’s looking, and opens his door to find his boss standing in the corner. Washington examines James’ collection of law books, something he does when he’s here for only one thing.

“Hiding from Lafayette?” James sighs. Washington nods stiffly, hands stuffed in his pockets and face turned away.

“He’s wearing that one skirt.”

\----------------

James likes the break room and the copy room. No one ambushes him there. He savors the few moments of silence before he has to trudge back to his office. He doesn’t even get close to the door before he hears the shouting voices from inside.

“ _I need to talk to him_!” Thomas yells.

“ _I need to talk to him more_!” Hamilton screeches back.

James locks his office door and walks away. He’s not dealing with that.

\----------------

James can only watch Lafayette try and catch Washington’s eye from across the copy room for so long before he gets fed up with it all. _Everyone here is a damn idiot_ , he thinks. _If they would just get their heads out of their asses…_

James tries to hide in the break room, but Laurens and Mulligan are awkwardly flirting with each other over the water cooler.

When he bites the bullet and returns to his office, Thomas and Hamilton aren’t screaming anymore. Which is both a relief and concerning; one of them could be dead in there. So James slowly unlocks his office door and peeks his head inside-

And immediately shuts the door and walks away again. He’s going to wander the halls until he finds enough brain bleach to erase the memory of the two men viciously making out against his wall.

At least that’s one less not-couple he has to worry about.

\----------------

James ends up having to kick Thomas and Hamilton out of his office, but watches Hamilton lead the taller man down the hall with wild looks in both of their eyes. _Maybe I need to lock some of these other fools together,_ he thinks. He could probably easily get Washington and Lafayette in here together, Laurens and Mulligan might be harder-

His train of thought is derailed by a quiet knock at the door. He looks up to find Aaron Burr standing there, almost sheepishly. James looks at the clock- one hour until he can leave.

“Come in,” he grunts. “How’d the fact-finding mission go?”

Aaron shuts the door and sighs. “He’s ace.”

_Oh?_ James’ eyebrows rise. This is something he’s never had to deal with before. “Is he aro?”

Aaron pauses, a flicker of fear overtaking his face. “I don’t know,” he mutters. “I didn’t think of that.” James swallows an internal sigh.

“Well, has he dated before?” He asks. Aaron grits his jaw and shakes his head. James’ heart sinks, sympathy for the other man taking over. “Not a great sign.”

“Nope,” Aaron breathes. He hesitates, then looks up at James again. “Are most ace people aro?”

James shrugs. “I don’t speak for all asexuals.” Aaron looks away, eyes scanning the shelves in James’ office.

“What about you?” Aaron asks. James hesitates. _No one’s ever asked before_.

“Homoromantic,” James replies. “Though, not many people like dating aces. Sex is important, for some unknown reason,” James jokes. A smile flicks across Aaron’s face. He takes a step towards James’ desk.

“Well that’s convenient,” Aaron remarks. James frowns, eyebrows furrowing.

“What do you mean?” He asks. Aaron is getting closer, slow but confident steps closing the distance.

“Well, I’m ace too, so sex isn’t an issue.”

“That certainly helps your case,” James remarks. Aaron is getting almost uncomfortably close. “Though, again, if he’s aro-”

His words are cut off by Aaron putting a hand on James’ face. They’re just an arm’s length apart now, and Aaron is looking down at him with a mixture of fear and determination. Just as James puts the pieces together, Aaron closes the gap and connects their lips.

It’s brief, just long enough to send James’ brain into freefall. Aaron pulls back, eyes fluttering open. James’ are blown wide, still trying to process what’s happened.

“So, Mr. Office Love Expert, do I have a chance?” Aaron asks. James swallows.

“I’ve never known you to be this forward,” he breathes out. He’s stalling, waiting for his brain to catch up to reality and figure out what to do. Aaron smiles.

“Hamilton got his man, I can get mine.” They’re still so close, Aaron’s hand still holding James’ cheek. “That is, if he’ll let me have him.”

James’ mind finally stops whirring long enough to give him a little ‘okay,’ signal, and he leans forward again.

He finally understands why people like to kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> So I took this as a fill and wrote it in one day, which is why it's so short and I apologize. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway.


End file.
